This year has been hard on us. People tell you at the beginning of intern year that it's going to be rough. We knew going in that this was not going to be easy. And at first it was just that - not easy, but manageable.
But then it started to wear on us.
And the weeks went by with my husband working 13 hour days with few to no days off (I think he's had a 14 day streak almost every inpatient block). He came (comes) home exhausted and I was exhausted and we didn't (don't) get to spend any time together and our baby is crazy all the time.
I started dealing with horrible anxiety and wasn't even able to do things I enjoy like work out or visit with friends or go shopping.
We were sick on our vacation.
We found out our next vacation was taken away.
It went from not easy to miserable. Wretched. Like Terrible-horrible-no good-very bad day every day. We were barely making it by.
The last few months have not been fun, to say the least.
But then it started to wear on us.
And the weeks went by with my husband working 13 hour days with few to no days off (I think he's had a 14 day streak almost every inpatient block). He came (comes) home exhausted and I was exhausted and we didn't (don't) get to spend any time together and our baby is crazy all the time.
I started dealing with horrible anxiety and wasn't even able to do things I enjoy like work out or visit with friends or go shopping.
We were sick on our vacation.
We found out our next vacation was taken away.
It went from not easy to miserable. Wretched. Like Terrible-horrible-no good-very bad day every day. We were barely making it by.
The last few months have not been fun, to say the least.
But God is good.
He gave us help right when we needed it. We are still having a hard time, no doubt, but He's helped us see His hand in all of this.
My PPA is not completely gone, but I have been doing so so so much better.
We've learned the significance of choosing to trust Him in every situation.
We are striving to enjoy the little things - Eric only working an 11 hour day (what?!?), Samuel taking a good nap, sharing a dark chocolate bar after the baby's in bed, cuddling on the couch, laughing at dumb posts on Imgur together.
I think most importantly, we have found hope. Hope that this won't be forever, that there's an end in sight and that all of the struggle is part of a bigger plan.
And He's reminded us that what we are doing is important. Eric is making a difference in people's lives, supporting them and their families through difficult times. I'm helping shape our sweet boy in his most formative years, learning to give of myself in the way Christ gave Himself to us. Our little corner of the world is pretty small, but I'm thankful we are able to make a difference where we are now.
He gave us help right when we needed it. We are still having a hard time, no doubt, but He's helped us see His hand in all of this.
My PPA is not completely gone, but I have been doing so so so much better.
We've learned the significance of choosing to trust Him in every situation.
We are striving to enjoy the little things - Eric only working an 11 hour day (what?!?), Samuel taking a good nap, sharing a dark chocolate bar after the baby's in bed, cuddling on the couch, laughing at dumb posts on Imgur together.
I think most importantly, we have found hope. Hope that this won't be forever, that there's an end in sight and that all of the struggle is part of a bigger plan.
And He's reminded us that what we are doing is important. Eric is making a difference in people's lives, supporting them and their families through difficult times. I'm helping shape our sweet boy in his most formative years, learning to give of myself in the way Christ gave Himself to us. Our little corner of the world is pretty small, but I'm thankful we are able to make a difference where we are now.
There are still 13 weeks left. 3 months. I've been in survival mode for pretty much the last 9, but I want more than that for these 3 months.I want to say we did more than barely make it through intern year.
I want to enjoy time with my Samuel and make Eric as much a part of that as possible. He's growing so fast!
I want to be sure and take lots of pictures. I've been bad about that lately.
I want to be sure and take lots of pictures. I've been bad about that lately.
I want to make Eric feel supported, but also plan fun things for him for his rare times off.
I want to make our house feel more like home. It's been such a work in progress!
I want to be a better friend and family member and connect with those around me more. Sometimes I get lazy and don't make time for people like I should because I'm in my own selfish little world. I need to get out of that.
I want to enjoy this spring - the newness and freshness of everything around me.
I want to read more. I used to read ALL the time, and haven't really done much since Samuel's been around.
I want to read more. I used to read ALL the time, and haven't really done much since Samuel's been around.
I want to find ways to give back, to support community ministries and to just love on people more. That's been difficult to do while single-parenting a lot, but I know there have to be some things I can do with a 1 year old in tow!
It's become so apparent to me through this time how community is key, and I hope I can support those in my community the way they've all supported me. I still don't feel 100% all the time, and I know I may struggle with for a while still. I also know the best remedy is to give of myself and get focused on making the world around me a better place.
3 more months. Let's do this! :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment