21 Months

Oh my, my baby is getting way too close to 2!! He's definitely acting like it too.

At 21 Samuel is... a mess. A funny, loving, wild, spirited mess that we love more than life itself.

In an average day, He...
Changes his mind about things approximately 350 times. He cries about at least half of these.
Changes clothes twice, though sometimes as often as 4 times (no, literally, I mean he is a MESS. It's one of his favorite words)!
Gets some form of time out/toy time out/picking up food we've thrown on the floor about 15 times.
Hugs and kisses us and rolls on the floor laughing at least once an hour.
Hurts himself at least three times.
And runs and runs and pretty much never stop running unless Thomas the Tank Engine is on (or we are eating or sleeping).

This month has been definitely been one of our most challenging. Thankfully, Samuel's words have improved drastically. We still have a lot of communication struggles, but lots of people have commented to me how impressed they are with what they can understand from him. That's reassuring.

I'm pretty certain he still doesn't understand what "hit" "kick" "throw" and "time out" mean though. And I say "Samuel, stop screaming and use your words please!" about 28 times a day. That's enough to make me want to pull my hair out!!

(Please don't get me wrong, though, I would not trade this for anything in the world)!

Here's a few other stats about my sweet boy:

Play/Toys: Samuel learned how to jump - for real this time - soon after he turned 20 months. It's definitely one of his favorite hobbies right now. He now knows where the park is and gets REALLY mad when we go by and don't stop. He loves it (as he should - we're there almost every day)! He learned how to climb in and out of the bathtub last week, too, so now he plays in there just for fun too. He also loves making animal sounds, singing (we finally figured out the song he was begging us to sing for weeks was "Wee Willy Winky" - it's now in our nightly rotation), playing with his new Thomas the Tank Engine toy (he sleeps with it sometimes), and his John Deere tractor. He's still a huge fan of bubbles. And dirt. He's also really into his cars/track and has been known to play with them in his room for 15-20 minutes at a time, which I find pretty impressive! He also loooooves brushing his teeth and playing with the sink. Fun.

Eating: Anything with cheese, apples, raisins, crackers, green smoothies, and "cookies" -  aka any type of healthy-ish baked item I make. ;-) I still try to give him some of whatever we're having, but he usually just throws it on the floor unless it's chicken.

Sleeping: He's been a great little sleeper this month! We had a few rough nights due to teething - poor baby boy has an extra tooth that will probably have to be removed - we are going to the dentist next week. Other than that and a few rough nap times, though, he's been a champion sleeper. I hope that keeps up when DST ends!

TV: So. Much. Thomas! Curious George gets in there some, and Super Why. Veggie Tales has been a favorite a few days too. We tried Mickey Mouse and he was NOT impressed. I definitely allow/encourage the TV watching more than I should probably, but, seriously, this kid does not sit still. Maybe one week next month we'll go TVless. We'll see.

Words: Samuel says a ton, but one of the funniest things he's doing right now is saying, "Oh my! Oh no!" to pretty much every little catastrophe. I.e. if the baby I watch sometimes starts to cry a little - "Oh my! Oh no! Josh! Oh no!" It's really cute.
He also likes to count, but only to two... "one.... two.... uh... one... two..."
I hear him in his room a lot saying, "Night night teddy! Teddy teddy" ::kissing noise::" He loves his teddy.
He likes to say "bye bye" to his "wee wee" when I put his diaper on. Oh my.
He's obsessed with the word "happy" this week. We listen to the song by Pharell sometimes and I think he's trying to sing it. It just sounds like he's saying it over and over again though.
He likes to "cheese" sometimes -- like on the playground the other day (pictured below), he climbed up a ladder, looked at me, and said, "Mommy! Cheese!" Silly goose.

He's really into the color "blue." I don't know that he actually distinguishes it from other colors, but he likes it. A LOT.
He also knows the difference between "Stop" and "Go" - Not sure where that came from!
His "backpack" is also a favorite subject of conversation.
And, since he's going to be a dinosaur for Halloween, he likes to remind me that dinosaurs say, "ROAR!"

There are lots more things, I'm sure. but it's almost midnight, so I should turn in. Month 21 has been crazy and hard and exciting and fun. I can't wait to see what this little guy learns in Month 22!

My Epiphany

So I had a bit of an epiphany at Bible study this morning.

Our session this week was about our ministry/spiritual gifts and how we can best glorify God using who we are/what He gave us. Like pretty much every believer who has spent any amount of time in church, I've heard this for basically my whole life. You were given gifts and talents and you need to to use them in the right way.

So one of the things that I've always been good at, one of my natural, God-given talents, is singing. There are plenty of people better than me to be sure, but I can carry a tune and have been pretty successful in choir/voice/performance competitions throughout the years. So, of course, I started singing in church at a young age and went on to lead worship in college and be involved with our worship team here.

The thing is, I've never liked getting in front of people to sing. Even long before my anxiety issues surfaced, I felt more than just a little nervous in front of crowds. I've never felt particularly worshipful in those leadership situations, and, frankly, I've most often taken on those roles because I felt I should. It was my gift and I was supposed to use it, right? And I have always just assumed that the problem was probably with me not walking closely enough with God and that I would eventually grow out of the discomfort as I grew in Him.

But today we discussed how to know what our ministry is/should be. In Beth Moore's "Children of the Day" study of 1 Thessalonians, she points out that "What do you look like when you love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength?... What is your passion? What are you bursting to do when your heart is flooded with divine affection? That's very likely the stream of your calling....You're supposed to look like the version of you that loves Jesus with every particle. That's the real you."

And I realized - When I'm walking closest with God, I may want to sing and sing loud - but I don't think any part of me has ever wanted to get up in front of people and lead them in singing with me. Ever.

And maybe that's okay.

When I'm overflowing with love, I want to talk to people one on one, to get to know them, to connect. I want to serve others, to make them feel apart, to make meals or clean bathrooms or serve food to the homeless.

That's who I am, who I'm supposed to be.

I've spent my whole life trying to fit this mold because that's what I was obviously supposed to do. I've felt SO guilty the last several months because I really should be singing with the worship team, but with Eric's schedule and my sinus issues and anxiety, I haven't been able to. Something about it never felt quite right anyway, like I was always trying to force it. I guess that's because I was.

So I'm giving myself freedom - Freedom to not be tied to leading worship anymore. To not feel obligated to use that gift in the way everyone else thinks I should. To further embrace things I truly feel passionate about and to worship without guilt of what I "should" be doing. I love to sing, and plan to continue to do so. It will not go unused, but can only be enhanced because I can finally freely worship without self-condemnation.

Maybe I will lead again one day, I don't know. Maybe that's something God has for me down the line. For now, though, I'm embracing the liberty to worship freely and to pursue ministries where I feel like I can truly bloom. And I'm looking forward to seeing what that looks like.

"We always pray for you that our God... will, by His power, fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith." - 2 Thess. 1:11

Haircut #2

So I am not a big fan of haircuts. Well, actually I'm not a big fan of paying for haircuts. Haircuts themselves are great, but how much money do people spend each year just on getting a little bit of hair trimmed off? And we aren't even going to talk about how much money highlights/coloring/keratin treatments and things cost. Maybe it's just because I'm cheap (because I seriously seriously am), but haircuts are one place where I've had no qualms about cutting expenses the last few years.

I bought some clippers for $40 the year we got married and have been cutting Eric's hair myself ever since. I generally keep my hair long so I can get away with getting it cut 2-4 times a year... One of our med school friends used to cut it for me for cheap, so we've spent a grand total of about $60/year on our family's hair the last few years. My friend's family recently moved for residency, unfortunately, so I had to go somewhere new last week and pay a whopping $40+ for a trip. I will admit, though, my hair feels soooo much better.

Since I was already shelling out the big bucks for my hair, I figured I might as well go ahead and get Samuel's hair cut too. We took him to a cute kids salon called Snip-Its for his first cut back in March. It was really cute, but at $10-15 a pop, it seemed unnecessary, so I've since been trying to cut his hair myself. That's proven to be easier said than done lately, though. There's been lots of pulling the scissors away and screaming and kicking the chair while I clip. Plus I don't actually have any experience that qualifies me to cut a toddler's hair. So I finally gave in.

 I think the result was great! He was pretty upset about having someone mess with his hair and definitely pulled away from the stylist a lot. But he got to eat animal crackers the whole time and watch a movie, so that distracted him a bit. And he got to fight with someone who was not me, a fact I greatly appreciated. :-)

Seriously not a fan.

Handsome boy. :-)

I have a few more coupons left for this place, so I may end up going again before too long. I'm hoping that he will eventually get used to it and hold still enough for me to buzz his hair like I do his dad's and we can go back to being a cheap-o hair family. For now, though, I have to admit: he's pretty stinkin' cute. 

Fall Y'all.

We (meaning my MIL and I, as Eric was on call for two days. Poor guy.) went to a pumpkin patch today and dressed Samuel up in his Halloween costume (because, seriously, why do they only get to wear those things ONCE?). It was adorable. I put pictures on facebook, but these were cute enough I wanted to blog them too.

His little tail would shake when he ran through the pumpkins. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever.

ROAR!

Samuel and Maddux. Buddies from birth.

He kept calling the pumpkins apples. And trying to eat them.

And just for comparison's sake, here are some pictures of Samuel and his buddy Maddux from last fall. Where did my baby go??