...

"How much of your life you've invested in Jesus is the issue. Have we held back some of ourselves - just in case He is not as real, as powerful, as active as we thought? Just in case He doesn't come through? Just in case He can't really be taken at His word? Or have we banked everything we have and everything we are on the fact that Jesus is Lord of all the earth?... Solitude is not so much the place we find answers as the place we decide if we are going to go on, possibly without them. Many of us will, because the privilege of wrestling with a God so holy and mysterious still beats the numbness and mediocrity of life otherwise."

I needed to read this today more than I can say. How much of myself do I reserve back "just in case?" The last time I checked, Christ didn't hold anything back from me. Why do I want to control things so badly? The real privilege is in not having to control them at all.

Sometimes I'm amazed at how far I still have to grow.